In The Event Of An Emergency, Just Kiss Your Ass Goodbye.

alright, my legs are woozy right now. ran 7km in 32 mins. slow right? okay la, but i need to improve. calculating everything, i can actually reach my target of 10km in 43 mins if i follow this pace, and of course with a good sprint at the end. for the real run, i've got the prize in mind. can i do it? yes i can.

watched captivity today...that was not so nice. boring in fact. then watched final destination 3. i dunno why, even though final destination isn't that nice of a horror film, it still gets me...cause in my mind, i start to contemplate all kinds of this supernatural stuff and how it all links up. in my mind that is. then also watched turistas. not bad movie. could be better. but nothing beats saw.

alright, the fun shit. today something weird happened in the train. this girl next to me looked up at me and made the sound that guys do when they see girls. you know, when you pucker up your lips together and suck in the air, you know that sound? yeah. and i was like, what the hell. i didn't know what to do cause my mom was just right infront of me. it was this chinese girl, very ah lian. then this malay girl, in the bus was like giving me some kind of smokey look. like, what the heck. maybe it was my t-shirt. the sp t-shirt. must be a chick magnet. or maybe my hair. nah, i doubt it's my hair. my hair's like crap right now. in that ugly uncool phase. hah, what to do. what to do.

tomorrow canoeing. so long since went for training. gonna be like a freshie again. get ready to be pumped. and guess what's the song that's playing right now behind in my itunes? 'Pump It' by balck eyed peas. yay, so great. yeah, thinking of starting to take up job. the job of a coxswain and also then later dragon boat coach. it's good money. it's in my interest. and hey, you meet great people. really? what else can you ask in a job? i bet it'll be like so un-jobly. and that'll be what's so great.

meeting up with the red fox people is great. damn, every weekend guys, just make yourself free la. confirm go out already. go walk here, sit there. the current best topic to talk about. CAMPFIRE!!

Nav

P.S. i can't believe i'm talking to her!!!

It's Time To Puke.

alright, who wants to hear about how my econs went? my poa was screwed, and so was my econs. why? no time...damn. but i'm like so sad for the econs. cause it's like i looked through the whole paper during the first 10 mins which we were allowed only to read, and i looked at the questions and in my mind, i was thinking to myself, "yessss". then as i slowly proceeded on to doing the paper, i found myself slowly in a daze and then as i was about to do the essay questions, i found myself just staring at the paper. my mind was like freaking blank, and my battle was to open all the doors which had suddenly closed and locked themselves at this most auspicious of times. i looked around and then thought to myself, it's now or never. i grabbed my pen even harder, trying to skip the questions that i stumbled upon, but as each question passed, slowly a sense of de-moralization was downing on me in such an agonizing manner. i knew that i was gonna suffer throughout. so i just told myself to complete it. woke up from a deep nightmare and found myself exiting the exam venue with the background of echoing happiness and sadness of both equally spreading across. and all i could do was just get far away from the very negative aura of the room. i leave you all upon that note of what i would end my thoughts of my econ paper.

did that whole paragraph make sense?

anyway, i'm so happy. she finally accepted me. you know, it's like the more i waited, the more i thought i did something so bad that she rejected or something, though i don't even remember doing anything at all infront or around her, except smile, smile and smile. then as i casually and routinely checked my facebook notifications, i saw that she did accept and i was like celebrating in my own little spastic dance. okay, that was abit of a streach. i just ''woohoo''. well, that's about it, ain'nit, i guess?

well, been doing nothing much this whole week. gonna start running soon. gotta hit the 43 min region for my 10km. gotta do it. argh. yeah. win it. win it.

then also been watching movies alot lately. watched final destination, bruno, and the ugly truth, for those movies that have been released. loved katherine heigl's performance in the ugly truth, a cute character. bruno well, sick but funny as well. final destination, also funny, but the blood and splatter, was kinda more obvious CGI-wise, cause of the format of the 3d thing. yeah. but overall, all good movies. then as for all the other movies, been watching 'A Nightmare on Elm Street', 'Friday the 13th', 'Saw', mostly gore, horror and slasher films. also downloaded the final destination series. yep, people, anyone want to see?

Nav

There It Goes, All Out Of My Hands.

i can't believe it. i'm so demoralize right now. i was like so confident of my run in today's Leg's And Paddles. the 5km paddle, i would say, true, i didn't do well, cause i admit i didn't go enough training. but i expected whatever i got during the paddle. but got minor stitches at the turning point. as soon i got out of the boat, and went off for the 8km run, the moment i started running, the stitches was unbearable. continued for like 2 km plus. then just stopped. started walking from then on for like 5 mins. then ran. then stopped. then ran. then stopped. damn. the stitch was like slowly getting more and more painful. weak stomach muscles? breathing inconsistency? must be the paddling...cause i never paddle in a long time, so that resulted in me actually suffering. or maybe i stressed myself mentally for it? cause i wanted to do this race for different reasons. too bad...i was not able to do it...what can i do know but smile...cause tomorrow will be worse...

oh no...i shouldn't say. accounting tomorrow. what should i do man? no mood to study. i'm so gonna not do so well in my accouting tomorrow. damn, i can't even absorb my work in. when i stare at the damn book, nothing is going in. argh, pain setting in in more ways than one. think i'm gonna see bruno on my mac later. gonna gay myself for a moment. then study my eyes out. and the perfect song to crash to, 'Take Me Out' by franz ferdinand.

i don't know why, but i need to talk to you. i dunno whether i wanna be in sprint or polo yet. i'm feeling more for polo. but sprint is not bad as well. but the thing is, i don't like people to be two-faced so obviously, to me. in the past, i used to not really care so much. but certain things have got me so used to being more involved in personal discussions with the parties involved with matters i want to address. maybe not now. i'll pick the right time. i'll wait for you to say something stupid or ask something stupid and then...hooo-yeah. but don't get me wrong, i love canoeing. i love the people, someway or another. but i love them. but if there's a obvious reason to hate someone, why bother the trouble of finding a reason to like him? am i not right?

Don't judge a man before hearing his story.

Nav

Coffee Is For Those Who Earn It.

i'm sitting here in foodcourt 2, listening to Eric Clapton's 'Wonderful Tonight' with less than two and a half hours away from my final itab exam. well, i screwed up in my last paper. didn't save i think. or did i not log in properly.new possibility. damn, i'm so confused. i couldn't even touch microsoft word last night as due to some technical difficulties. and at this moment, i'm so concerned over the first aid course. damn...everything was going along nicely. well, murphy's law - when something can go wrong, it will at the worst time and in the worst way. well, at least nobody died. but i think i am dying.

right now, canoeing is my top priority. the training. the getting in part. gotta push for it.

my next priority, and which will always be my priority, is red fox. red fox was where i was reformed into a different person. not so much during my boy scouting years. but more during my role as a leader under training. i feel that now the least i can do is push the new boys and lead the unit into greater heights. we've got only ourselves to beat. cause we are the best cca in school. and the rest of the other units, well, it's a different story. but anyway, political stuff aside, red fox taught me one thing. and it is my honor to impart my knowledge to the younger generation, with determination, courage, confidence and of course with a hint of sarcasm and sadism. com'on, i'm nav.

then studies. oh no!!!! that's my first priority. hell yeah. no more facebook-ing, no more tai ti sessions and no more indulgences in stupid stuff. yeah, too lazy to state all of them out. i dunno why but i think i lost my flair in writing poetic nonsense, indulgent crap and melodic phrases of sever irony and chaotic literature. gotta concentrate. hoo-ya.

i need to ask a question. am i attractive in the MRT. cause like there's been like two girls who liked really really looked at me and got close to me and sent me signals while commuting in the train. then today, just in the morning, this cute girl in yellow kept looking at me and we even looked into each other's eyes for like 3 seconds. and all of a sudden, a song popped into my head, 'I Knew I Loved You' by Savage Garden. i know. see the video to know what i mean, if you don't already know. damn, i was like so into the moment that i just hoped that something would happen to the train and we would both reach towards each other and hold each other's hands and just smile while others are left screaming, running across here and there, calling their parents to go claim insurance and buy 4-D at the same time. love knows no boundaries.

ah, i think red cross is gonna hate me from now on. ahh...just made a call, wish i didn't. i'm jsut the middleman. awwww man.

Nav

What's Your Problem?

do you hate people who ask stupid questions? was what i asked a stupid question? okay, now that was abit of a stupid question.

here's the scene. we're off doing push-ups during canoeing training. on no, we can't say we're in canoeing. so i would say we were doing push-ups in a training session. club-less. haha, cute. so we're doing push-ups. i was like biting my teeth alot when i was recovering from the down position cause of the rubber elastic thing for my braces. and plus the floor was slippery. so okay, this then follows.

Jerald: what's your problem?
Me: *looks confused* (never answer)

bites rubber elastic and adjust hands.

Jerald: what's your problem again?
Me: *looks confused and glances around*

bites rubber elastic and adjust hands again.

Jerald: what's your problem?
Me: erm, the floor is slippery?
Jerald: then adjust yourself, change position, but don't stand up.
Me: *thinks 'why would i wanna stand up and risk getting shot down'

but the mother of this thing is the question. what's your problem. now, the thing is, i don't understand the question. i mean yes, i'm going through so many problems. the elastic rubber thing is a problem. mind you, my ITAB module in my course is also causing to be a problem right now. is that allowed as an answer? see, when you direct a question, i think it's best when you actually specify. avoids irrelevant answers. then also, we've also gotta avoid some questions that just lowers our iq or just doesn't do anything for society. Eg. you first time come here?

there's just no need for shit like that. can we be more educated in how we speak and also apply common sense especially when we really need?

oh, and ask around about me, and most people will say i breathe sarcasm. so i kinda know how to sense it. i read between the lines. do i speak very impressively? dude, i'm just trying to put up a tone of seriousness and politeness. am i making you sound stupid? did you have to resort using a dictionary? i don't see why i need to impress people, and that at my 'skills' of vocabulary. like that's just pathetic. anyone can do that, just need to use a freaking thesaurus. simple. you can then maybe other words like astonish, awe, blow my mind away, dazzle or amaze instead of impress.

huh. enough of my short rant.

alright, so what's new. i'm finally thinking that maybe i should try to spend more time helping out at my scout unit. but how much can i help at this point?

and for ventures, well, i dunno. you can have a good system. you can have a good leader. you can have a strong backing from leaders. but shit happens, flush it down, do some controlling, and then make some decisions.

gotta start training for competition this sun. shit, this sun. haven't rowed in a long time already. can't help it. other stuff is slowly eating into my training time. and those stuff are shit that i can't get out of. and gotta start running. last week was a very bad week for me. dunno why. very weak. haiz.

and exams also. shit, econs is like jsut after the competition. and i don't even have the notes for chapter 1-7. shits. gotta ask around. no time already. shit. hope everyone does well for their exam. especially the tai ti clan. gotta find a new hobby.

i need to speak to girls right now. got this another girl in the train. argh, how i wish i had done what i wanted to do.

Nav

P.S. take whatever i said about you if i did mentioned you in a very open way. you know i love you.

And Here So Beckons The New Stroke, Effortlessly Painting The Pain Of All That Have Hurt.

hm, and so here i am. after how many days of running away from blogging...i mean, i was too busy to blog.

poly 50 the other time...damn...didn't run as fast as i did last year. and my shin still hurts everytime i sprint. wonder maybe something wrong with my technique? anyway, this year ran with rovers..next year? rovers? or canoeists? canoeists won 2nd this year while rovers 21st. hm, rovers can fight and win it next year. train la...train hard. push harder. pushy-ma.

canoeing is also starting to get into your blood. i can't help but say 'TSAA!' during lessons when the lecturer say something. hah. then now i'm like starting to push harder. com'on, you've get somewhere. you've gotta push yourself from now on. Leg's And Paddles competition coming up in a few weeks. 5km paddle and 8km run. what do i want? i want a good timing. a good placing. and i want to show them mutha fuckas who be running this show. i'm a nice guy.

If you're not getting better, you're getting worse.

alright, so it's been a long time since i actually have to worry about this. but i'm freaking broke. the last time i was this broke was when my parents had left for india and i had no money at all. luckily my sister was there to help me. hah, my sister. sometimes i really want to just leave this shithole i leave in just cause of what is being thrown to her. i know it's her fault but you can't rule out my mother in this as well. is my family too militaristic or just conservative to a very strong extent. i dunno anymore. is it really good to be a guy in my household? or isit just cause we're an indian family and our values are more sacred in a way? i find that hard to believe in this day of age. but it's really tough.

noone really cares about other people nowadays. people like to have the "It's not my responsibilty"-attitude nowadays. you ask someone to take care of your stuff for a moment. moments later, it's gone and you're like wondering where you stuff is and you realised your friend just shrugs off and say, "it's not here". again, you can see it in action in your daily life. "It's not my responsibility". taking in the morning train, you find yourself packed in a carrriage of smelly people from all walks of life and they only have one thing in mind - to get their asses whereever they want it to be. fighting and pushing to enter the train first while blocking the exit for those who wanna get out at their station. "It's not my responsibility". "not for me to care for." a kid running around in a supermarket get's lost. the kid cries and walks around. everybody looks at the kid and thinks, what a poor kid, and what misfortune the kid has to have such an irresponsible parent. so what do the public do. just sit there and watch for awhile and then leave to either take a puff or take a shot at lottery. "why help the kid, it's not my responsibility". people are getting too self-centred nowadays. everyone knows it. everyone critisces it. everyone says it needs to change. everyone says this kind of irresponsible and selfish people should be taught a lesson. but who's gonna teach the lesson? who's gonna be the one revolutionising and gathering people and influencing social behavior change? It's not my responsibility.

just a little something that i was thinking of. there's more in my mind, but too much to write down.

hm, sometimes you wear a mask for so long, you forget who you are beneath it.

people fail to understand people. they judge you upon what they see. and they try to justify their conception of your behavior and attitude and maturity level by using a very clever yet lazy line/theory - "first impression". to hell with that. but what can you do, trying to change that, you then give people the impression that you're being a dick by annoying them with telling them your life story. but wait, aren't they now judging you on a second impression? hmmm...

if you have to tell someone that you are matured, you're not.

to that girl, damn, where have you gone...every friday...you are there. staring at me. even at the train station. where are you. gone for two weeks. gawddamn...

Nav