All Just Here To Tell You What I've Never Told Anyone.

THE DREAM

anyone ever watched the movie 'American Psycho'? well, just in the morning, i had a dream that i was living life from the perspective of the psycho. living through the all the deceits of being human, living through the fact of having a half-broken mask of sanity, living through all the narcissistic sex and living through the murders and killings. i woke up, feeling an internal rush of heat through my body. i adjusted myself a little and found that i was slightly sweaty. the aftermath of the dream maybe. i then started to think. had i liked my dream? is there something in my mind, something in me, i'm not aware of? i felt scared, yes i did. but the adrenalin that was rushing through my body when i was having the dream. i could still feel a bit of the adrenalin rushing through as i thought about my dream again. i looked at the time. 630am. i went back to sleep, trying to dream that same dream again while clutching my pillow tightly with a smile on my face.

THAT SMILE

okay, this is damn weird. the other time, i was walking home along those provision shop area at eunos there and then i just ate a cheese pancake. so there was a bit of the cheese on at the left side of my mouth. so i tried to lick it. at the same time, there was this kinda buff guy walking towards my direction. so when i saw him walking, i just slid my tongue back into my mouth. all of a sudden, that big guy just smiled at me. and i was like, erm, okay. that was weird.

THE RUNS

well, ran on of the best runs i ever ran this whole month. steep hills to run. no stopping at the traffic light. i think i found my route to run. it was seriously good. just need to calculate the distance, see if i'm running a good distance and go with it against my timing. hah, gotta focus now. i've found my grove, can't lose it. and plus, i don't really feel that tired after school. actually, releases stress for me. and yeah, to be the best, you've gotta put yourself in it. and this real run, i've gotta put myself to the test. i know my goal. my goal. i've gotta push man. nov 8. think my training's not that adequate though. still, gotta be positive. really, being positive really works. yeah, and cause you've gotta have a little...erm...uh-hum...motivation.

THE GIRL

okay, i'm seriously lost for words. you know, i look at her, and immediately in my mind, i just go, 'awwwwww'. the only girl who has made me say that without her herself having to do anything. talked to her the other day. and it was seriously something i never thought i'd be able to do. i dunno why, but other girls, yeah i can talk to them. no problem. i don't even need to worry about what to say. but...this girl..she's just...what can i say. every little thing she does is seriously magic even though no matter how mundane it is. how is it that i feel like i want her even though i dunno what she really is. wait, did i just say i want her? hm, well, maybe it's true. after all, the first conversation was more than one year in the making. damn, has it really been that long? what have i done? have i hesitated so much? i have so little time. time is seriously running out. now waiting for her to come online. hope she does. am i sweet? seriously? i don't know you know. noone knows what really goes on in my mind. i mean, this, what i'm writing here, is what i really do think of her. the cutest little thing.

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