Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A Long Way To Go 'Til I Finally See Your Face, Smling At Me Through The Broken Glass WIndow Pane Through Which I Will Tell How Much I Love You.

campfire's galore. so many coming up. i've missed campfires. how i would get crazy and all. campfire's meant everything to me. through campfire, you see the scout who enjoys life and one that enjoys his own time in his own world. it's nothing wrong. but again, is it right?

hm, hope that everyone can stick out through this perilous journey to make red fox ventures known. hm, i have dreams. but so do you right? so yeah, tell me what you'll dream about, and we'll do your things for sure. terms and conditions apply. yeah, but anyway, it's great to have a good strong backing forming up behind.

in other concerns or worries, am i too matured in mind? sometimes when i let go my crazy side, and if i were to just talk when i'm sober on stuff, i tend to speak like an old man. am i getting old? i've got so many stories to tell. haiz...i need a girl. if not, i'll be more older.

talking about girl, that girl. what's the reason she keeps appearing that way infront of me. am i thinking too much. but again, stuff like this did happen before. and i wasn't prepared for it. but now it seems so different. but again, it seems so familiar. am i thinking too much. i always tend to overthink stuff. and it either leads to epic catastrophic proportions of disaster in both lives, especially mine.

hm, iron maiden now on my playlist. damn, iron maiden, so simply sinister. really the pioneers of metal. metallica, iron maiden, black sabbath. linkin park, my favourite modern metal band. bullet for my valentine, also it reminds me of many times last time in secondary school. cradle of filth, though they've gone through drastic changes, they still have that appeal. dani filth, you inspired me to know more about the more gruesome stuff in history. hm, then there's atreyu, who delivered one of the best albums in 2007/2008. with their fresh metalcore sounds with the vocals delivered finely. then there's the band Red, which i'm starting to really develop a liking for. especially with their single, 'already over'. and red is a christian hard rock band. and another christian hard rock band that deserves the final mention of today is Pillar. relatively awesome.

yep, i need to further my research. i find that doing research is fun. jsut that sometimes, can get distracted by other stuff. other research stuff. i get easily distracted.

and i'm still waiting for sp.

Nav

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Metallica - Wherever I May Roam

(And the road becomes my bride)

And the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I need

And with dust in throat I crave
Only knowledge will I save
To the game you stay a slave

Roamer, wanderer
Nomad, vagabond
Call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll redefine anywhere

Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home

(And the earth becomes my throne)

And the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars I've grown
By myself but not alone
I ask no one

And my ties are severed clean
Less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign

Roamer, wanderer
Nomad, vagabond
Call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
and I'll take my time anywhere

Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home
YE' YEAH

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind
And I'll take my time anywhere

Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home
I say!

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll redefine anywhere

Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home

Carved upon my stone
My body lies, but still I roam,
Yeah yeah!

Wherever I may roam
Wherever I may roam
Woah

Wherever I may roam
Wherever I may roam
Yeah!

Wherever I may wander, wander, wander
Wherever I may roam

Yeah, yeah, wherever I may roam

Yeah, yeah, wherever I may roam
Wherever I may roam
Wherever I may roam

go search for the song on youtube. it's freaking awesome.

Venturians Of All Ages, We Unite Under This Auspicious Of Nights, Knowing The Fact That Wherever We Roam, Where We Lay Our Heads is Home.

Red Fox Ventures
i can't wait for the venture hike. it's gonna be one hell of a walk. especially whoever's with me. i'll make it the most amazing and memorable hike. and we'll have the best time i can guarantee that. terms and conditions apply.

hm, i'm addicted to the symphony and metallica version of metallica's wherever i may roam. and that will be the song i'll be singing throughout the hike. it's such a freaking nice song. anyway, metallica rocks. independance, we all fight for. we all strive for it. hm, hike...has to be done...in full uniform.

yep...red fox ventures are going on smoothly. from a train, we're progressing into a car. a car with people slowly learning how to take over the wheel after a while. and that's just great. if we go back into a train, it'll be a train wreck. but hey, at least we're getting known now as well. and this car wash, don't worry, we can have it anytime. jsut that we are only restricted by our other 'committements'.

oh and there'll be alot of campfires coming up soon. we'll be gate crashers. don't worry, it's more fun that way. we'll show them how a campfire is done. the red fox way.

My Own Self
hm, personal progression. venture scout cord is all i can go for. the rest of you...if you want PSA, go for it. now. even scouts. go for it. don't care. your interest can't be killed by anyone. and if does get killed by anyone, come find me. i'll take you under my wing, and help you source for help.

anyway, i'm trying to cut down on my swearing. or rather cheap sentence enhancers. you must see the context. it's all in the context. everyone's so blinded by labels. argh, can make you bang the wall. i've had enough. i've always had enough. i'm starting to lose my cool. i'm starting to vent my anger out.

Culda

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Let Pain Be Your Friend, For It Is The Only Friend Who Will Tell You The Truth And Make You Cry Before Making You Realise That You're Doing Something.

listening to system of a down right now. great band. wonder why i haven't been checking them out in a long time. see that's what happens to us. we get so caught up in our impulses that we forget all the good things in life. system of a down is the kind of band that makes you think twice about its lyrics. a normal listen would just think, damn they are so random. so funny. so crappy. but i mean, if you were to look at it again, it were to sound deep. something that would take you quite a long time to figure it out.

yeah, metallica also...i like. they make me feel that metal was alive for a reason. with their sinister written lyrics that seemed so effortlessly, i find myself always finding ways to find the ways of writing something biblical in the context of pure hard edge metal. i dunno whether what i said made sense, but it's casue i'm listening to hard rock right now.

then there'll be people who will say, 'metal is just noise' or some christians will comment that metal is the work of satanic followers as there are countless lyrics againts chritainism and all that. but apparently, it's not only about that. you've christian and white metal. they're both for christianism. then they'll be some people who will say, metal doesn't get to the point cause the lyrics hardly start immediately or doesn't start at all. they say there's too much unnecessary music that bores. metal is like an art where the greatest in the that industry create the best riffs and all. the best art on a canvas that has no boundaries.

but then again, we can't force someone into liking it. some people like beer. some people prefer coke. you've gotta know that we all have our own preferances. they can taste beer. they may like beer. but that doesn't mean that they have to make it their standard drink.

same like leadership. we've all got different styles. we can't force someone to say that "hey asshole, i don't like what you jsut said. or i don't like what you're doing. can you please change to what i prefer?". it doesn't sound right. we may have our own views on the other person but again it's views. you're not fucking god. you can't zap that fool to a crisp while he's out running at bedok resevoir with a blue ipod shuffle in his hand. you've gotta let him finish his run. tell him what he can improve on.

we can be sadistic. we can shout. we can kick and throw tantrums and make it seem that we are the ones who show more concern than the other guy about some organisation or whatever. we all under one roof. live or leave. you make the choice.

Wise words or crappy shit. you decide.

hero or zero. you've got all the right to be whichever you one.

Culda

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

For Words Can't Explain How Thou Shalt Have Torn Unto One's Soul So Thus Brings Upon A Ray Of Hope Onto Forgiveness Of Others.

do people really understand my tittles? hm it sound chim doesn't it...but it doesn't make sense. but again that's the first step to convincing people. you confuse them. that's how you win arguments. you can use big big words, you can make up words and just make a very long sentence with alot of made up words and you can make it seem just like a sentence if you say it with confidence.

other ways to win arguments is to use charm. use pick up lines. use sweet lines. this confuses the person. but of course the person has to be of the opposite sex unless that person is gay or something. yeah, that's how i try to win arguments. but nowadays people don't seem so interested in arguments. that's why i've gotta create my own.

hm, what is up for me this week? well, gotta go get venture tee for the new ventures on thursday. going to call red cross on thursday as well. friday is overnight venture outing. saturday and sunday is investiture/job week camp. i practically breathe venture-chairing nowadays.

venture chair. hm, i've been doing too much. why? to make up for my past mistakes? maybe. but i'm learning. we all are. i should understand that. i believe all alot of things. i want to believe alot of things. i've got a very creative mind. ideas are runing through my mind everytime. ideas are ideas. as long as you've got an idea, you can adjust it with a team if you want. that's what ideas are for. ideas are the ones that help build the support of structures.

remember the idea, not the man. for the man can die. for the man may not be of equal status. for the man may not be welcomed. but ideas don't have boundaries. they don't have feelings.

i have to now get the admin stuff done and done. got make the guys all close and crazy and all. i mean, they all decided to start venturing for a reason right? gotta make the crazy bond. that's it. you've got the bond. you've got the commaradarie. you've got the relationship. you've got the committment. you've got a cool strong yet tight unit. and that's my visison.

sometimes i feel that i regretted not giving the real speech that i wanted. i kept feeling that you guys were not ready. i just basically told you'll what you were supposed to hear. but yeah, too late regretting. i'm gonna do it all over again. not with restriction of time, not with the restriction of a tight agenda, not with anything else. i'm gonna make it formalise. therefore i can now unofficially say that the venture unit will undergo some modifications to whatever system it has now. i'm gonna be very transperant. cause in the venture unit, there's no obvious hierachy. we are all ventures. like friends. no more treating you like kids. the hard truth will be there of course. but we're there to learn, teach and have endless, crazy, non-sensical fun together at the same time. something like that. that's the whole primary focus right now.

hm, let me put in a very easy to relate example. when you've got a boyfriend/girlfriend, are you committed to him/her? or are you committed to the relationship? if you're committed to a person, aren't you being like a slave? you attend to his/her every need? you appear to needy to surrounding people or worst even to the person you like. when you commit yourself to a relatinship, you work for the relationship to work. simple right. same thing basically. don't need to commit yourself to me. just to the unit. it takes less efforst than you know.

i can't believe i talked so much. i'm like having a super running nose. part of my mouth is hurting due to my braces. i have a aching headache. i have a blocked ear. and i'm on the verge of puking/fainting. i'm dying.

Culda

P.s. i can't wait to play twister....

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

If Death Spare Me Mercy, And The Devil House Me Not, May My Soul Gain Not The Pain That I Used To Endure But 'Stead Deliver Me Into A Girl's Heart.

i've been waiting so long. after my last failed relationship which was like how many donkey years ago, i start to practice being an archer again. sometimes they ask me or they say, why isit that sometimes i don't even have a girl and sometimes i have so many targets? hm, you know how you're waiting for a bus at a bus-stop. you're waiting for so long. you're eager. you've got a bus concession pass, meaning you can take how many buses you want. so you're waiting, listening to whatever keeps you calm. so then in the distant you see your bus. but then as you look more clearly, you see that two buses that you can take. that's what it is. sometimes life plays with you. it makes you wait. and when the time comes, many oppurtunities come along and you have to choose. but it's funny cause besides choosing, you can also try to figure out which one is better. so you try your luck with one. the first bus has this old man. and all of a sudden he's yelling in your face about how slow the bus is moving. you could sit in that bus for the entire journey with an old man complaining about the inefficiency of busses and regret for the entire ride. or you could alight and get on the next bus. the next bus seems okay. but then it breaks down halfway. luckily you know there's another bus coming along behind. but when you try to catch the next bus, it just zooms past, either it ignored you, it didn't like you for some apparent reason or it's too occupied.

it seems a little screwed to some. but if you found that this makes sense, then that means you can relate and you've been through the same situation as i have been. people may think that this is beig indecisive or they see you as a player. but you're just seeing the grounds. your job is not to change the person you're with entirely. unless the person changes specially for you. but i mean if you're in a relationship where it's not working out but you're still hanging on and lying to yourself that you can change it for the better, my advice to you is to get the fuck out. if you can't deal with the shit, flush it down and move on.

hm, but it's easier said than done. we get too blinded in some sitautions. so what can we do eh, dudes and dudettes?

hm, okay. whichever girl i want, i've gotta just work it out ya know. it doesn't work out, move on. don't cry over spilt soya milk. that's what i'm gonna do now. my target in mind. my targets in mind. but of course someitmes rushing in can be good, sometimes it can be bad. so you've gotta work your cards right. it's not the hand of cards that matters, it's how you play the cards.


okay, i've gotta say this officially. i always thought that you were a good girl. i always thought you were the one who could be the different one. but man, how was i wrong. who was i to know that you were wearing a mask all around. yeah, really. can't believe it. hm, hope you're reading this. goodbye to you. farewell. enjoy wherever you go. at first i was depressed that my hopes of being with you died. but after knowing you more after what happened. it's freaking great that i didn't hop into a wagon that was full of lies and false hopes. but still, i will never lie about not having feelings for you. yeah. goodbye again. may you being in canada have a happy life and all.

anyway, moving on to other brighter things.

cute? adorable? pretty? how should i describe her?

Culda

Sunday, March 08, 2009

And So I'm Back And May All The Holy Deities Forgive And Spare Me For This Occasion For I Have Sinned In Ways That Ruins The Path Of Righteousness.

and it's been about a month. hm, a month. if some months have 30 days and some months have 31 days, how many months have 28 days?

dunno the answer? the answer is all the months.

anyway, i'm back. i'm beginning to have a clearer picture of what i want right now.

Education
a clearer picture of what i wanna do for my education. just need to be given the chance. letter been sent. but no reply. well, you know what to do when there's no reply? keep pushing and asking for a reply. you've gotta fight for it. you want something, you've gotta stand up and go get it. period. the endless pursuit of happiness. you've gotta have the fighting spirit. if not, you'll find yourself not getting anything else in life. but what if i don't get it. well, i've wasted my entire year in a place where i disgraced myself and all. so i've gotta just do well in whatever i'm doing now. from then onwards, i've gotta just do well. that's all on my mind. GPA means everything. well, a good gpa. a gpa of 0.9 is something not to be proud of.

Venturing
i've also got a clearer view for my venture unit and what i want my venture unit to be doing. what i am doing now is seeing how other units (be it scout, venture, rover or even a non-scout unit) run and modify areas in which the system they are running by is not going well. even if they are doing something that is really good, there's gotta be a way to modify it to suit our own preferances. hm, but first i've gotta know my venture unit well. yep. red fox all the way. anyway, i'm still wondering. my doubts, i hope, will be cleared very soon. anyway, here i go. delegate now. i've done the first step. ahhhh, okay, i'm gonna shut up now. don't wanna let out too many surprises. but ventures, going at the pace now that i envision it to, is going well.

Scouts/Guides
hm, right now, i'm also playing the impartial role. i offer my assistance to whoever needs it. be it the leaders or scouts. i'm also seeing the next best thing that i can offer assistance to. girl guides. why you ask? cause i love our beautiful guides alot. and plus i know that after graduating, they'll find that they might be lost. so they can always join ventures that will help shelter them during this few years and they will also be able to find their true selves under ventures. so yeah, i'll be glad to welcome you with out-streched arms and a umbrella (ella-ella-eh-eh-eh). but guides seriously need that oomph. you know when you eat nasi lemak. you can have good meats and all. but if the chilli is not there, then it's nothing effective. it's just bland and doesn't do anything. have a good chilli and you'll see the results.

alright, i'll have a good rest now. rest for another month? nah, just for another day. i've got nothing to do this holidays. so i'll just blog about anything and everything under the sun.

Culda