The Confessions Of A Not-So-Singaporean Singaporean. Part One. Deal Or No Deal.

yes..first of all, i'm back. my laptop is better than new after being repaired. hard disk corrupted. yes. pathetic i know. anyway, enough with the bullhakie (a fancy word for bullshit).

i've been thinking. singaporeans are kinda like a bunch of confused people. you need evidence. i'll give it to you. please play the song 'give it to me' by timbaland, justin timberlake and nelly furtado. got it. good? okay.

take for example, the game show deal or no deal. it's in its second season and still people can't really get the gist of it. i mean, they confuse it with other game shows. most of the time, it's confused with the ever popular wheel of fortune (WOF). like when the model is opening a briefcase, the crowd screams small money small money. though it is the opposite of the big money yelled in WOF, it still rings thousands of bells. i mean are we so confused that we can't differetiate between simple meaningless game shows. or are we so dumb or lazy when creating new cheers. maybe let's get dick lee to write us a couple of yells. like 'give me the dough'. or 'hey gwedolyn, you're are hawt'. well, she is kinda hot. except her smile is kinda shy and fake. but what the heck. i kinda prefer her over andrea phone-breaker...i mean fonseka.

then there's just the plain fact that the singaporeans are freakin noisy. i doubt the reader' digest people need not use a sound meter to conclude that a person can be deafened in just 1 minute and 22 seconds in that studio. yes it is a sorta studio not some freakin grand theatre like the esplanade or whatever. yeah, back to the noise, er, actually i doubt you can blame them. i mean, we can hardly protest, and we can't really be like this loud in public cause the public will be like, 'eh sayang, this man he come from IMH isit?'. next thing you now, the police is telling you that you need to shut up unless you want to have your face and name featured on crimewatch.

singaporean's yelling. and the weird thing is that they yell unintelligently. i mean, the banker gives a $3900 offer and the contestant still has 250000 somewhere in the cases and it's only just 8 mins into the game. logically, even the most illogical person would say no deal right. but the audience starts yelling 'no deal no deal'. com'on, which idiot needs the audience help at that time. come to think of it, i don't think we ever need the audience's help. i mean even when at the most obvious time that the contestant should just take the money and leave that god-forsaken place, the crowd still yells out no deal no deal. erm, yeah. i bet even if one of the models were to say 'would you wanna kiss me for a dollar' they'll still go no deal no deal. the way the audience reacts to the banker's offers is like they were expecting 249,999 bucks. that'll be a real head-scratcher. no deal no deal. the only time i see singaporeans actively participating together to voice their opinions is at a football match where the singaporeans are shouting 'referee kayu'. hm, i think after another few seasons of deal or no deal, singaporeans wll be shouting no deal to the referee instead of kayu.

and you know what's even more crazy, and more f**ked up. the way they react with their actons when they say no deal. they start shaking their heads, and putting their hands in a x-formation. apparently this was maybe how elections were done in the past way before the ang mohs came. and they'll move their hands to form the x in a 3d form like they want you to see they really mean no deal. they way they react is like a fat guy's on the stage and he's attempting to strip himself infront of everyone. no deal no deal.

hah, where do we live in. how confused are we to make an x men mark. must be our favourite show. shouldn't they be like doing a thumbs-down action. what i suggest is that whenever there comes a time to ask the audience whether they wanna deal or don't wanna deal. for those who wanna no deal, all they have to do is shut their mouths up and get out of the studio for that period. that way, we'll really be able to see who wants to deal as no deal is just deal with a no at the front. and plus it's politer on our ears.

singaporeans, there's a difference between being enthusiastic and a simple plain fat pain in the ass. is that right you ask me. yeah that's right asshole.

Culda

P.S. i don't mind if gwendolyn wants to just parade around. but i prefer her in a long dress than something so skimpy. i mean, i dunno, i just feel she'll look nicer in that.
Me: Gwendolyn, would you be my date for a day and in return i'll show you my TLC?
Gwendolyn: No deal.